January 28, 2009
I have my first appointment with a nurse-midwife this afternoon. I am optimistic and hopeful about this experience, having dealt with strictly medical nurses and doctors at the last health facility I was a part of..
My daughter, born eight years ago, was caught by the experienced hands of a Canadian midwife. There were a team of three actually,, and the care I received from them all during my pregnancy was outstanding. Now, if you wish to have a genuine midwife attend your prenatal visits and birth here in the US, you must pay out-of-pocket, something near $4000. Quite out of the question for us at this time, although I did research every option.
So,, we discovered that there were indeed nurse-midwives at a Kaiser facility in the next city. Yay! A new experience, and hopefully a positive, beautiful one.
I am not one who enjoys the medical atmosphere, and indeed, it makes me nervous just thinking about weird interventional machines and such. I am no fool; If there is a problem along the way I am just as grateful as the next person that I have the opportunity to receive a medical quick-fix, especially of it concerns the life of my baby. BUT I know that my body is also quite capable of birthing and I don't need any medical-minded individual to steal looks at a clock to assess my progress or tell me what position to get into or when I need to push. These things, I am confident about. I hate hospital gowns and I don't want any tubes connected to me. In short, being pregnant doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you, so it seems a bit odd to be walking into a hospital in that state. Hmm...
I am determined to, when the time comes, labour at home as long as I can so I can keep my focus. Well, we shall see how it all turns out.
I look forward to this midwife meeting today because I have a load of questions to ask,, and I am hopeful that she will make the time to actually answer them, and not skim over my concerns and then blast out the door for the next patient, as all the other medical practicioners have done.
Yes, we will see.
At any rate, I am reading this wonderful novel, called The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. It was recommended to me by an old friend and I am so glad she did so. Living in California, so far from my Mother and sister and girlfriends, I do feel rather lonely and isolated, especially now that I am pregnant. I think it is instinctual for many women to crave the companionship of other women at such a profoundly feminine time in their lives, and I harbour a great sadness that I cannot do this. But,, thank goodness for this great book! It is all about the woman's experience, and has been a great friend to me. I would recommend it to any woman, truly.
On that note, I have my day planned which is new for me (-:
I will go for a morning stroll, Then return home to cut/sew some new baby clothes! I have some great ideas, and I have already made a bunch of patterns. Yay!
January 27, 2009
I have the celtic music playing and just finished smudging the apartment, and so it seems like the perfect time to sit down and let some thoughts come forth..
We did some fun things on the weekend.. Saturday we spent in Oakland's Chinatown, partaking of the New Year's celebration. We got there just in time for the wonderful Lion Dance, strolled around a bit looking at all the vendor's wares, and then popped into a bakery to choose a variety of Chinese pastries and desserts which we had never eaten before. I liked the sponge cake the best, while Isabella loved her specially chosen round coconut dessert. I cannot remember if Jason had a favourite; I don't think so (-: It was fun to try a bunch of new things with new tastes, textures and ingredients (-:
On the walk home, we took a peek inside the huge new Roman Catholic cathedral that was just recently built, and then relaxed for a short while at home before zipping back out to buy me a hot water bottle (I am in love and my aching pregnant bones are so grateful) and yummy treats from the drug store, as well as a movie from the library. We used all three as soon as we returned home (-:
It certainly wasn't the healthiest day in terms of sugary snacks but we did walk for hours! Sunday was a bit of a downer for me, I don't know why,, Could be hormones but I'm not altogether sure. Jason and Isabella endeavored to take her skipping rope and new kite to the open area by the park and hopefully meet up with some wind,, and I ended up going along even though I didn't feel up to it. We ended the day with a trip to the Mexican restaurant and then a round of card games at home.
Yesterday I had Bella home with me all day, as it was a PD day for the teachers. She had a blast. She started her day by dressing in ballerina gear and dancing around the apartment to a CD of faerie music, then created a kindergarten class for her dolls and stuffed toys which lasted hours,, changed again and belly danced for me, ate yummy lemon bars that Jason baked the night before, helped me do three loads of laundry and then had a much-needed shower. She needed a day to just play and play and be a kid entirely. Lately our lives are so busy and separate, as she doesn't even arrive home until close to 4 pm when she has to do an hour or more of homework, plus practice her multiplication flash cards and take a shower, while I make dinner and get things washed up and organized for the next day. We have been trying to make more time in the evenings, playing a couple games all together at the end of the day and it has been really, really fun. Time seems to slow down finally and it's beautiful to finally be centered in the present, Not thinking about what needs to happen next.
I miss Isabella and our homeschooling days, when we spent so much time together and everything seemed like such a beautiful flow. Yes, it was tiring too, and I had so much more to juggle, planning her lessons and implementing them while attempting to get my own work done at the same time,, Never with a moment all to myself..But life is change I suppose. And I cannot do everything. I am happy for her, That she has some lovely friends to play with and all these new experiences and opportunities.
Anyway, what am I talking about??! In four months I'll be starting all over again, with a new baby to occupy my moments and thoughts and entire existence! It does please me. I am a person who has never been happier in her life than with a child to love and care for,, and I SO wanted to have more children. (-: Happy me.
With that, I am off to call my Mom. I do hope she is home (-:
January 22, 2009
It is true! I'm pregnant (-: Of course I've known for a while (almost five months now) but I wanted to wait to spread my news to the world (-;
Just yesterday we went as a family to my mid-point ultrasound. At first the baby was sleeping and I was panicked at the lack of movement, but then he started to stir and the radiologist mentioned that he was waking up. He then commenced to squirm and flip and roll over, making the job of assessing various body parts very difficult! A beautiful baby boy. And here I was almost certain that it would be a girl, having had dreams that alluded to that fact for months before! Ha! He had a strong little heart, perfectly formed, beating quickly, and was very willing to let us in on the grand secret that he was indeed, a boy (-:
January 17, 2009
I'm a silly girl sometimes. But that's ok.
January 6, 2009
I have spent much of the afternoon chatting with my wonderful
Mother on the phone. I am always so rejuvenated and positive
and feel like I can do and accomplish anything after connecting with her.
It is my wish to one day be as wise and loving and supportive as she is,
affecting everyone around me in such a profound way as she does.