February 19, 2009

many thoughts of many moments...

The day is a sunny one; A welcome shift after countless rainy ones. I do love the rain, The dark wildness of storm clouds, But after a week or more I do crave for the brightness again.
After this post is finished I will venture out onto the sidewalk to stroll. I try to walk each day, weather permitting, even though this pregnancy is limiting me in ways of mobility.. Aching pelvis, loose hip bones, shortness of breath...It is rather fun, I tell you! With my first pregnancy I had none of this drama until the last month, but then, those expert-types do tell you that your body changes with each child you carry. While the pains do frustrate me on occasion, I also see them for the blessing that they are; the relaxing and opening of my body in preparation for my baby's entrance to this world. It really is such a beautiful thing.
For me, someone who never can justify an afternoon nap or an idle moment without floodgates of guilt pouring over me, this pregnancy has been a profoundly humbling event.
The first four months I was exhausted, nauseous and generally blah and had no drive to do anything at all, Not even think,, And of course in retrospect I wish I had been wiser and listened to my body's promptings; Taking naps and relaxing fully, reading on the couch and calling my mom more frequently but of course I didn't. If I had known that it would not last and that I would be feeling more like myself in a short time I may have been able to grant myself a bit of slack. But instead, I made myself miserable, feeling bad that I was feeling bad. Ha ha! So silly. Of course, I was in the midst of profound hormonal/physical/emotional shiftings so I really shouldn't think on it too much. Only so much as to honour this new stage of growth that my sweet baby and I are experiencing, where I feel vibrant and healthy, intuitive, connected and centered.

I know that I need this time to prepare for my little one's birth and life here on earth. This is my time of rest before action; My sacred moments of peace and solitude, Soon to be traded for all-encompassing motherhood. I am trying my very best to remain in this moment, Not looking too far ahead, for I know that this time is vital.


We took these lovely pictures at lake Chabot on Monday afternoon. As we were driving towards the lake, the closer we got, the darker the sky appeared and rain started to fall but we didn't turn back (-: And when we finally arrived, we were met with a beautiful rainbow...



This regal prince swam close to us and so of course we
were
obliged to capture his great beauty on camera


And this is Isabella doing one of her favourite things (-:

The weekend was lovely; Valentine's day was spent first enjoying homemade apple scones for breakfast, exchanging handmade Valentines, watching 'Coraline' in 3-D at the AMC theater (Jason and I came away with some pretty dandy headaches after wearing those 3-D glasses for an hour and a half!), lunch at the India Palace restaurant, a quick zip to the library, and then a quiet evening at home, for indeed, all three of us were feeling a bit under the weather..

By the way, this movie was really something; Creepy as anything but amazing in that it was created by hand, like The Nightmare before Christmas. I love that not everyone falls prey to the specifically digital world.. I was worried that Isabella would be scared or at the very least, distubed by it's overall theme, But of course I am the sensitive one (-: She was fine.

Sunday was spent shopping;; a luxury we don't usually indulge in, but in the case of my ever-expanding Buddha-belly and the fact that I have been running out of clothes that fit, We spent the afternoon at Target. I found five pieces of clothing that will do just fine and I am tickled pink about it. Maternity clothes in general are hideous abominations, Not to be imposed on any pregnant woman, Especially considering the fact that, in this state they are the embodiment of the fertile earth mother, A truly sacred vessel, The living womb of creation, Powerful, life-giving goddesses. Hmmph.
Had I not found something suitable I would have gladly sewn up a few dresses, and I may still do that (-:

It is time for me to greet the sun. Be well (-:

2 comments:

  1. I don't want anyone to make you feel bad! Not even you! So enough about that. You are great and grand and will have all the time that you need.
    Caaaaaaalm *pling*

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  2. Thank you my dear and wonderful friend (-: You have nearly brought tears to my eyes, Your spirit is such a beautiful, kind one (-:
    Much love sent your way..

    xoxo Samantha

    ReplyDelete

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