November 8, 2009
healing is needed
The past three days have been somewhat of an interesting ride..Jude has definitely been going through something. He has been irritable, inconsolable, miserable and all-around grouchy. On Friday he refused to nap the entire day, which made the grouchiness that much worse, and to top it off, I am trying to rest my wrists so they will heal, but it is near impossible when Jason isn't around, which is five days a week. I had a near breakdown that day,, feeling so overwhelmed and exhasuted (did I mention that Jude has been waking up 6 times a night??) for the past week as well..It is so much better when Isabella and Jason are here. All of this home-life chaos has gotten me contemplating the beauty - and necessity - of community. I miss being near friends and family, of sharing simple conversation, tea, walks out and about, of getting some help when I really really need it.
Now, I don't want this to sound like a sad and miserable poor-me post because it really is not. Only slightly. While things sometimes seem rather too much and I feel hopeless concerning a path to change them, in the end I usually figure something out. The ideas come softly and simply and remind me that it is never necessary to get all excited about anything, That eventually peace is restored.
Jude is napping this moment beside me on a soft blanket pallet I have laid out for him. Jason is spraying cloth diapers on the patio while Isabella keeps him company while writing imaginative stories at the same time.
Upon Jude's waking, we will scoot out to find the most perfect stroller. It is true that I have never been a fan of strollers, preferring to carry my sweet bairn, But Jude is just too big! I cannot heal my arms, wrists and hands if I do not give them a break. Carrying him in the Moby wrap for two hours when I walk to retrieve Isabella after school is a killer on my shoulders, which I am sure has contributed to the tendonitis in my wrist and hand. Darn it all.
Oh well. It is what it is. I will get a stroller and give myself some much-needed rest and healing.
~ deep breath ~ sigh ~ second deep breath.....~