zucchini noodles and pregnancy blathering (-;

It has been forever since I did a post ~ or put any conscious thought into ~ raw food.
I am really tired with this pregnancy, but I try not to gripe...But really, it's hard work, and I'll tell you why:

1. Jude still wakes up at night and so I don't get any straight sleep.

2. He sometimes wakes up at 3 or 4 am and wants to play for two or three hours, and then he (thankfully) goes back to sleep, but at that point I need to get Isabella up for school. I usually go and lay back down for a couple hours but after such an insane night, I sleep badly and wake feeling like a truck ran over me.

3. This baby is big. I can tell. The midwives can tell. The cashier at the grocery store could tell this afternoon. And after all, it makes sense as Jude was 9 lbs, 12 oz. I have hardly any 'inside room' and so I can only eat little bits of food, which I imagine are not enough to fuel all the tasks my body has to accomplish.

4. I have no energy, ever. I suppose because of the lack of sleep, and then the pregnancy demands on top of that. I find it hard to be fun for Jude, spend any quality time with Bella or Jason, get stuff done, or feel optimistic. I don't know about you, but if I don't get decent sleep for three nights in a row, I start to feel crazy. Seriously, totally crazy, depressed, ornery in the worst way with no patience and I feel like I'm going to die. I know that sounds a bit dramatic but that's the way of it (-;
5. I have a very painful thing called diastasis symphysis pubis that makes it absolutely excruciatingly painful to do just about anything, like stand or sit or walk or lye down or move in any way. I am in pain ALL the time. It sucks. But it goes away once the baby is born, so that's good. I had it with Jude's pregnancy too although it started much earlier this time around. Apparently this baby is in a posterior position, so his head is bonking against my spine and wedged down in my pelvis more than normal, which doesn't help. I have been encouraging him to flip over the right way with a few simple movements and positions and I do hope he will be obliging (-;

Ok, so on to the raw food zucchini noodles...Jason and I share a car, so when he needs to teach at the college I drop him off and visit my sis because she lives really close to there. Last week we hung out and chatted and ate veggies and hummus while Jude played with the remote control jeep that just happens to be at her house. He really loves that thing, probably because he only plays with it when we go over there, which isn't very often at all.

Yesterday we did something infinitely more exciting! We broke out her new spiral - twirley type food cutter and made some raw zucchini noodles! Jude actually did all the work; it was such an easy thing to use. It took like two seconds and they were so yummy! Tash put a mixture of marinara and pesto sauce on top and garnished with grape tomatoes. Awesomeness. And the part that amazed me more than anything else was that Jude LOVED it. He ate more than half of my plate and he is a very picky eater. It's hard to get him to eat vegetables at all. Yay for raw food!

We also treated Jude to a bath, as we only have a shower here, and of course he played with the remote control jeep. He had a pretty fun time.

^__^

sleep thoughts

In this final stretch of pregnancy, I am finding it very hard to sleep ~ Like right now for example. I am tired, and when I am finished monologuing on the subject I will attempt to sleep, but as soon as the lights are off and I am lying down, my legs get jittery and my hips ache in the worst way, my mind seems to come alive with uncontrollable, pointless thought and I lay there, usually listening to Jason's snoring and Jude's sleepy breathing and wonder how it is that I manage to make it through the daylight hours at all. I will nap with Jude if I absolutely have to (usually I need to be completely dilerious and feel like I'm going to melt away into nothingness from lack of sleep to break down and do so) ~ I cherish my alone time and need that bit of free (often times creative) time to balance out my soul and return me to my light, cheerier mama-self. It makes sense.

Well, good night then (:

^__^

(: love love love this..

There was a child went forth every day;

And the first object he look’d upon, that object he became;
And that object became part of him for the day, or a certain part of the day, or for many years, or stretching cycles of years.
The early lilacs became part of this child,

And grass, and white and red morning-glories, and white and red clover, and the song of the phoebe-bird,
And the Third-month lambs, and the sow’s pink-faint litter, and the mare’s foal, and the cow’s calf,
And the noisy brood of the barn-yard, or by the mire of the pond-side,
And the fish suspending themselves so curiously below there—and the beautiful curious liquid,
And the water-plants with their graceful flat heads—all became part of him.
The field-sprouts of Fourth-month and Fifth-month became part of him;

Winter-grain sprouts, and those of the light-yellow corn, and the esculent roots of the garden,
And the apple-trees cover’d with blossoms, and the fruit afterward, and wood-berries, and the commonest weeds by the road;
His own parents,
He that had father’d him, and she that had conceiv’d him in her womb, and birth’d him,
They gave this child more of themselves than that;
They gave him afterward every day—they became part of him.

~Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

'tis the first day of autumn!

How did that happen? Somewhere in between all that playing, cleaning, nursing, floor-sweeping, snuggling, diaper-washing, pregnancy and major life decision thinking, autumn appeared! I do love this season, SO so much (: With it comes all the most joyous things for me: apples in bushels, cider, the glorious smell of burning leaves, gorgeous leaves, chilly air, and the opportunity to put my knitted wares to good use! Jude loves his pilot cap, by the way. I have almost finished a  second one for him, blue like the one I made for the baby. Which reminds me, I am now 33 weeks pregnant (: Time is indeed flying. Change is imminent. I am excited, hopeful, and thoroughly terrified. I am not speaking of the birth of this wee one or the life that will unfold with his arrival into our family, but the proposed change of dwelling. We have been looking for a lovely farmhouse/house in the woods for a bit now and just yesterday I think I found it. Within a matter of weeks, all could be very different for my family and I am just trying to keep calm but this is hard for me to do. Breathe breathe breathe. It is true, the saying that you'de better be careful what you wish for! I put in a tall order and by geez, the universe is delivering! Here is what I asked for: a gorgeous house, preferably in the woods with lots of room and light that was affordable to rent, something that has the potential to become a forever-home, a place to grow and laugh and blossom with my family but not too far from my parents and sister and Jason's places of employment. I also put in the (prayer) order for a fireplace, a possible homebirth, and I wanted to get settled there before this wee babe arrives. So far, all these things are present. We just have to make the bold leap, trust that beauty comes from sacrifice and a willingness to accept change, and always always try to stay positive (a hard task when worrying about all the little aspects of major life changes, things that need to be done, children's happiness and during periods of extreme sleep-deprivation). So there you have it, on the day of the fall equinox, a seasonal change for both the natural world and my own little cultivated world. Blessed, blessed life.

is off!

to look at a farm house! Ooh, I do hope it is the one (: We have seen a few houses but none were the perfect place..not yet. Have a blessed, joyful day! The sun shines and the blackbirds chatter in the trees (:

harvested herbs at night

I love this picture of our bedroom at night on the evening I harvested all the garden herbs and hung them above the bed to dry. Lemon verbena, lemon balm, spearmint, apple mint and peppermint (: When I make the bed in the morning, the glorious verbena smell wafts into my nose and makes me oh-so happy!

Moonface

The last full moon was so beautiful and enchanting that the kids had to go out into the night to experience it properly. They have done the same thing for a few night storms too (:

Jude's pilot cap

I am not actually done this hat yet ~ you can see the loose end poking out and I haven't attached the ties, but isn't it cute?? I convinced Jude to wear it by telling him that it's a pilot cap and therefore that would make him a faster driver! (-; Knitting is so much fun! Yay!

beep bleep boop!

Update:

Matilda the duck ran away days ago. She had been doing so already but we always managed to find her, usually sitting on the bank of the creek behind our property. This time we haven't been able to locate her. I hope she is safe and happy.

Jude knocked my teacup over, dowsing my laptop, the modem and router with a generous helping of green tea. That happened one week ago and I was slightly traumatized thinking that my computer may be dead (All of my art files, photos and such are on here and it would really suck, to say the least, if they dissapeared from my life. Yes, I know I should backup my files. I keep meaning to but I am so busy all the time..Needless to say, I have learned my lesson. And fortunately for me, I have some prior experience with laptops and water and I immediately put it on it's side, turned it off and set a fan blowing on it for three days straight. It's working now. Whew! We did have to get a new modem..

Isabella on the first day of school

Isabella started grade six on Tuesday; I am truly shocked at the age of my girl~child, by her big feet and lengthening body. What a short time childhood is! How sacred are the moments of youth! I have always known this and tried to live in such a way that her beginnings were creative, open and free...but still, it passes by so fast.
She very much dislikes her teacher and she has come home each day consecutively more intense and emotional. Bella has always been a sensitive child, and I can see that the stress of school life is much for her to adjust to. I so want to homeschool her, but she isn't willing to go back to that way of life now that she has formed friendships with the girls in her class. I will never force her to homeschool, but I know with the wisdom of a hundred mothers that she would be happier, smarter, more grounded and confident if she were educated in this manner. I keep asking for help from the powers that be, That our life circumstances shift around to support positive growth and change for all of us, That she come to certain conclusions on her own. It's hard; we never intended to stay here at my parent's home as long as we have. I want to nurture a home environment for my littles and feel like we are heading in our own unique forward direction, not just biding time in someone else's reality. Random thoughts. Mind chatter. Breathe..

Knitted pilot cap for Jude

I am nearly finished my second knitted pilot cap and I'm delighted (: I'll definitely make a third!

I saw this photo on this blog post and totally wanted my own piano to paint (: A weird pregnancy-induced notion perhaps, but still.

So, I found a free piano on kijiji (Canadian online classifieds) the very day my inspiration came upon me! I emailed the fellow offering it, he said it was mine, and voila! Well, not exactly voila! I still had to figure out to get it to my parent's garage for the time being ~ I ended up having to pay a mover to do it, but that's all fine and good (: This piano was meant for me and I am so excited that I made it happen (:

I made my sister a plush elephant for her birthday and she wept over it; she loved it that much. I am still shocked by her reaction and so so glad I finished the project, even though I nearly abandoned it a few times due to tired and grumpy toddler antics and lack of time. I think I will make some more! Jude and Isabella made lovely birthday cards for her too. How I love handmade!

We enjoyed the celebration of my sister's birthday at her house with cake and pizza and a good ole' scrunched-up-tissue-ball fight that had everyone in histerics for some time. Good times (:

I spotted a sweet vintage dresser on the side of the road on the way home from the party and insisted that we bring it home, even though we have a tiny car and all four of us were in it at the time. Jason was awesome and managed to fasten it onto the roof with only two bungee cords! It took a bit of time and everyone had to learn a good lesson about patience (it was late and everyone was cake~weary!), but in the end the happy dresser moved into the garage beside my piano, and they will both one day make me even happier with their presence in our new home, wherever that may be (:

Jude thinks a really great name for the baby is Ketchup. We'll see about that one (-;

We have been spending as much time outside as we can, soaking up these sacred days of warmth and sunshine where you can frolic barefoot in the grass, drinking tea on the deck and playing under the shade of a tree (:

Also, Jude has been completely smitten with the caterpillars. Luckily, we have lots. He loves to hold them and is very gentle, and he knows to put them onto a leaf when he's done petting them and saying "Awww, cute" so that they can eat (: We have read The Hungry Caterpillar oh, maybe a gazillion times so he knows that a leaf is the yummiest thing for the little fellows (:

Here's my baby belly this week. 31 weeks now (:

Oh, and I am reading this book right now. I was in 3 pages and already loved it!

Alright, I am off to knit (:

more photos by Bella

I just came across these pictures that Isabella took in February (:

I like 'em.

^__^

Jude in the grass

(taken by my sis on her iphone)

I'm not nearly cool enough to have an iphone (-; In fact, I don't even have a cell phone!

At any rate, Jude loves the out-of-doors. He rolls in the grass giggling and tries to fall down on purpose. He's a funny little lad (: I'm so glad he is a nature-lover.

At this very moment it's past 4:30 am and I have not yet gone to sleep for the night. Jude had initially gone to bed at 9 but woke up at midnight and decided to stay up and party all night, mostly with his toy motorcycle. I am not at all pleased. Especially since he woke up at 4 am yesterday morning after getting insufficient sleep and then refused to nap all day. I have no idea what is going on with him but I am pretty sure I am going to go crazy. I can make it for three nights without enough sleep but once that fourth night comes I am a wreck, grouchily zombie-ish and utterly  miserable. I have actually been awake for 24 hours now.

Oh well. That's motherhood  for you (:

On a positive note, I'm nearly finished Jude's knitted pilot cap. In a moment lacking wisdom I pulled it out and started knitting like a madwoman (I do believe it was about 3 am this morning). I thought to myself, "If I haveto be awake at this dreadful hour, then I may as well treat myself to some knitting." That was a bad idea. I messed up somehow in my exhausted stupor and will haveto pull out a bunch and start over halfway through the project. I don't really mind so much. Just the act of knitting is so cathartic that it made it worth it. sort of.

Well, I'll be darned. The little angel has finally passed out and it's only a quarter to five in the morning! I guess I'll get us tucked into bed before the sun makes it's appearance after all.

^__^

30 weeks pregnant (:

^__^

little helper

Jude helped me with the laundry, hanging up his diaper inserts to dry in the sun (:

 What a good boy!

^__^

one grand ole' sunflower

Our garden ~ with it's tallest sunflower fellow! (:

Happy first day of September! Bring on the gloriousness of autumn!